Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You did what with his pubic hair?
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