Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
