Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
