I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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