Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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