Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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