watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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