im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
