Me too!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
