Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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