They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
