i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
