It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
