The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
3 2 1 whiskey
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
