Kiss
Puke
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize