remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
