She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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