i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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