Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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