Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
