You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize