Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
