Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
