dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
someone owes me an orgasm
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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