i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
