Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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