Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize