I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
