i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
