He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
