Whod you bang
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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