"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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