where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
