I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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