new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
