he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
