Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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