All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
