yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
