I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
