How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
