when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
