thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
