covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
