I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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