break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
