let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
