i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
