Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
