i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
