We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
