if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
