I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
