i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
