Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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